deithy Funny Status Messages

   celebrates diversity by watching porn with lesbians, midgets and a bit of black on white action!

   poking you with a spork !

   uses the lyrics from a top piece of music and interpersed it into my status. It just goes to show you what a Big Fat Phooney I am!

   sorry he was late, but had a penalty shoot-out with the ghost of a flea!

   wants to poke you (and not one of those irritating facebook poke either)

   thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if its at Costcutters, or if she really had it coming.

   thinks you should always follow your dreams.........well, except maybe not the one when I'm wondering around naked at work.

   is in the money!! I've just won $50,000 on the Nigerian Lottery (well after I've sent the £250 processing fee). Not a bad days work, especially as I never entered it in the first place!

   can't help think that Christianity is based on one woman's affair, where her cover up story got out of hand..........

   wonders if it is only him, that has had a fly or small bug land on his computer screen and been daft enough to try and scare it with the cursor?

   thinks that with all the spam he gets abot penis enlargement, isn't time they invented a pill to shrink vaginas instead!

   wanted a motorcycle when he left school, but his mother said no. She had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18..... So she said I could just have his.

   had his wife accuse him of being self-important. He nearly fell off his throne!

   has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!

   thinks it's unbelievable how pretentious some cat owners are. I could never be like that with my Dostoevsky!

   somewhat annoyed that finding midgets, painting them green and making them make chocolate is an offence.

   woke up with post-it note where one of his toes should have been. It said "Gone to market"....

   received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don't have a son. That kid is one damn good liar

   notices that its been so windy of late that even the water in his toilet was choppy!

   still confused after one of the presenters on Children in Need said, "pick up your phone and pledge". I'm still sitting here with the phone in one hand and a can of furniture polish in the other, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do next.