jay Funny Status Messages

   - Awesome high speed chase on FoxNews ending with the guy ramming the back of a tanker truck carrying Orange Juice. Anyone else find it ironic that O.J. actually STOPPED a high speed chase????

   thinks that bread is to ducks as dollars are to strippers, ya feed one and three are waiting next in line..

   saw a whino eating grapes. I was like "Whoa, buddy. You have to wait....."

   word of the day: Dictate. You can use it in a sentence like "My girfriend says my dictate good"

   People make counterfeit money, but money also makes counterfeit people.

   can no longer play Scrabble. Turns out he has Irritable Vowel Syndrome...

   Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand and not his a$$ or he'd have shot out a web every time he farted.

   needs a facebook button that says 'stfu already'

   - Jesus saves. Moses gets the puck. He shoots! HE SCORES!!!!

   Arch West, the creator of Doritos, has passed away at the age of 97. Do you think he'll have a triangle shaped tombstone???

   Makes you wonder if Cedar Point tourism will be down next year. Pretty sure no kid is gonna be too excited to go see Sandusky...

   - in memory of Joh Lennon who died 30 years ago today. Did you know the only vegetable he ate was brocolli? I'm happy he finally decided to give peas a chance...

   We already won, we already won, we get Lebron James, it's already done...NOT.

   wonders if when the inventor of the bong came up with the idea, did a black light appear above his head?

   We need Facebook Dummies Asap..Because Some OF Yall Say the Dumbest Shi...

   Someone taught my Firby to sing Taylor Swift's song "Shake it off", who ever you are...you are pure EVIL.

   We need Facebook for Dummies Asap..Because Some OF Yall Say the Dumbest Shi...

   Moms are really very clever!! within the first 10 minutes of visitng her, she read my mind better than I ever read it myself! I could never be a real man just like my own mother.. love you mom!! :-)