tracy Funny Status Messages

   SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: The amount of Alcohol consumed can directly increase the amount of facebook activity.

   There are only 3 steps to sleeping with alot of women. 1). Have your own place. 2). Have a bar in your place 3). HAVE NO STANDARDS

   Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.

   A recent study conducted by UCLA just discovered that doing just about anything increases your risk of death.

   A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

   Finally got around to deleting my Twitter account today. It could be that I just paraniod, but I swear somebody was following me...

   How did the blond get lipstick on her steering wheel? She tried to blow the horn.

   People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you're married...that's a job!!

   venting on his Myspace that he cant get on his facebook...

   I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

   A recent 100 million dollar study conducted by Harvard University just discovered that running out of money may be the main cause for Bankruptcy.

   It was reported in the News recently that a former member of the KKK has volunteered to help clean and restore the Gulf. He vows to have the beaches white again in no time.

   gonna rock your WALL!

   If Gluttony really is a sin, according to a recent poll, 67% of Americans are going straight to hell.

   so awesome, that when I go swimming, dolphins appear.

   its official, I'm old. I sat down to use the bathroom this morning and teabaged the toilet water!!

   Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds

   BREAKING NEWS: U.S. Kills Al-Qaeda's Number 3 for Nine Thousandth Time

   "the ""she"" in ""that's what she said""! "

   when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.