Heather25 Funny Status Messages

   Like this status if you have ever tried to accomplish something before the microwave timer ends.

   I think I am going to make my own beer. I'll call it Responsibly, that way competitors will do all my advertising. Please drink Responsibly!

   who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??

   My husband and I have never considered divorce...murder sometimes, but never divorce.

   I am sorry we fought. I hate it when you're wrong.

   Don't you hate that moment when you think to yourself, why did I just say that?

   Have you ever looked at the last few loads of dirty laundry and considered just throwing them away??

   Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" OBVIOUSLY, I thought I was going to get AWAY with it!

   Just so there are no misunderstandings, I am here for my own entertainment.

   The GOLDEN rule in my house is...IF it's funny your not in trouble.

   :): The Bipolar smiley face

   Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.

   Realizes that the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

   wondering if Facebook is hiring because I just put in my 40 hrs this week.

   My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.

   Cmon, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!!

   Thinks that you people are just lucky that I am so terrified of Prison!!

   Don't get me wrong, I totally hear what you're saying, I just don't give a d*mn.

   Please irritate me. I would LOVE to see how badly it ends for you. ;)

   I have been hit hard with the "Your kids will turn out just like you" curse!