Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   Tomorrow is the end? Then I call "SHOTGUN"!!

   For Sale: New Nunchucks. Will consider trading for a bag of ice and a new set of marbles.

   Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!

   Sometimes, in my world 2+2=5 because I like to add a little extra to make it interesting.

   The devil and I go way back. It all started that day we were playing with matches!

   ‎20-30 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!

   When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?

   I have just finished my thesis: "Pyrotechnics Lead to prosthetics". Keep all your digits safe! Happy 4th!!

   I was Home School Valedictorian!

   I am currently putting together a workout video called "8 Year Abs"

   You should not clean a gun while loaded....Unless you're wiping off fingerprints!!

   The older and fatter I get the more my underwear makes me feel like a dolphin trapped in a tuna net.

   What makes me so funny? My strict diet of sunshine and unicorn meat!

   I want to tell you about my dream last night. I don't understand it. It was Greek to me....Έχετε λάβει η στιγμή να μεταφράσει αυτό το όνειρο; έχετε ανάγκη από βοήθεια.

   Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed

   My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.

   streaming Netflix's through a Blackberry tandem modem. Please don't call. The good part is coming up!!

   I think the only people that can use a disposable razor and NOT cut themselves are people that have been to prison!

   Change is good..especially if you wear diapers!

   I just returned a Rug Dr to Lowes. When asked if it worked ok I responded, "Yep got up all the blood and evidence as promised. I would recommend it to anyone"!