Dragon-king Funny Status Messages

   If you're playing with your X-Box all day, she'll break up with you and some dude will be playing with your ex's box all night.

   wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.

   I slap my own ass when having sex cause I'm that kinky. . . And alone.

   showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts.

   drinking till I'm someone else's problem

   No trees were harmed in the posting of this Facebook status, but several million electrons were mildly inconvenienced.

   you`ll notice after reading this notice, that this notice isn`t worth noticing

   wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.

   38 years old and still doesn't need glasses . . . I just drink straight out of the bottle!

   FREE TIBET! *Offer only valid with purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value. Void where prohibited"

   wonders why, if vegetarian food tastes so good, do they keep eating Turkey-flavored this, Sausage-like that, and Meat-like Balls Marinara?

   decided to continue with the beatings until morale improves

   going to help support the Greek Debt Crisis by eating more Greek Dressing . . . .and Bakliva

   calculating pi but can't seem to make it past sugar cream

   "Now if I could just figure out something to do with my hands, I'd be set!" - Every white guy while dancing, ever.

   considers obese people to be dyslexic anorexic

   thinks Michael's heart: just couldn't Beat It . . . too soon? too soon?