lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'lemonpillow': View All Messages
Page: 9 of 40

   messageicon Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 14:06 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a responsible worker. When anything goes wrong, the boss says I'm responsible for it.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 14:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Greeting cards are for people who mean every word someone else said.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 02:19 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, auditioning for the circus again.
←Rate | 05-30-2010 05:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm what you might call an "incurable romantic". Although that's not the term they use at the Free Clinic.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 09:17 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing exactly alike.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 02:25 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some things are best kept between you and your neighbours. Like a fence.
←Rate | 01-31-2010 06:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anyone but i'm hoping my boss will be the first.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 12:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must be a proctologist... because I work with a*sholes.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 13:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach are aiming a bit too high.
←Rate | 11-24-2009 07:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tip of the Day: When greeting your friend Jack at an airport,do not yell "HI,JACK!!". Another tip: prison food is terrible.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 09:17 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Always smile in the morning. It will make people wonder what you did the night before.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 14:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours. But they all have to learn to live in the same box.
←Rate | 04-11-2010 12:46 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think I'm a genius. Then I realize I've already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 09:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course. I've never had to run so far in all my life!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 07:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daaaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home..
←Rate | 11-23-2009 05:03 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've managed to avoid around 50 April fools jokes this morning. However, I've now lost my job on the emergency sevices desk.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 15:07 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..i had lunch with a chess player today. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
←Rate | 01-23-2010 21:39 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just introduced me to a Money Making Scheme that guarantees a 100% payout. It's called a job.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 19:40 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left