santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.
←Rate | 08-20-2020 22:58 by Oldtimer Comments (0)  


   messageicon "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?
←Rate | 12-14-2018 13:31 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt
←Rate | 12-22-2018 09:02 by Ky Comments (0)  


   messageicon I noticed that every time I hear that Christmas song about nuts roasting on an open fire, my testicles move into a defensive formation.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 20:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)
←Rate | 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single
←Rate | 11-29-2011 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
←Rate | 09-19-2014 20:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?
←Rate | 12-02-2010 18:28 Comments (1)  


   messageicon WTH!!! It's 2 days until Christmas and none of stores have their Valentine's Day stuff displayed.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses cops..fire men 7-11 employees ..!!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 07:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.
←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
←Rate | 12-16-2013 16:36 by lkl627 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit!
←Rate | 12-04-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking about celebrating Christmas a week after Christmas for now on. Then I will be able to buy the same gifts at 60% off!
←Rate | 12-27-2010 06:48 by Djmiller Comments (0)  




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