santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Won a $50 gift card to Chili's at Christmas raffle. In other news, decided my secret santa is getting a $14.37 gift card to Chili's for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 17:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so nice having my family around for the holidays. It really makes me appreciate their absence the rest of the year.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 02:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get "drunk" during the holidays I get "festive".
←Rate | 12-09-2013 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa put me in charge of the naughty list this year. So if you have been naughty inbox me so we can talk about your punishment and gift.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Christmas for the last 15 years, I've been too drunk to remember the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, enough is enough. It's time to get my act together. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term 'Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
←Rate | 12-03-2016 16:22 by McFazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.
←Rate | 08-20-2020 22:58 by Oldtimer Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW TO WRAP PRESENTS: - Ask somebody else to wrap presents
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The holidays are always tough on me.... One year for Christmas , I made a gingerbread house that wasn't up to code & it collapsed on a tiny, little gingerbread family. Still haunts me.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt
←Rate | 12-22-2018 09:02 by Ky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 20:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit!
←Rate | 12-04-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)
←Rate | 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single
←Rate | 11-29-2011 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty Comments (0)  




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