santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
←Rate | 05-11-2015 14:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This just in WIKILEAKS plans to reveal what you are getting for Xmas......
←Rate | 11-30-2010 13:27 by Bill Comments (0)  

   messageicon How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite holiday special about a burglar whose crimes go wholly unpunished.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 06:17 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you were walking through the Mall today and saw me sitting in Santa's lap , it isn't what you think .
←Rate | 12-15-2011 14:09 by BigToe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Score ! I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough...... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !
←Rate | 12-09-2010 17:43 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I went to Jared for my girlfriend's Christmas gift. I'm sure she will love her Subway gift card.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 10:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got my wifes Christmas gift. I hid it in the oven. She will never find it there!
←Rate | 11-18-2010 11:01 by Tim Comments (4)  

   messageicon Nothing brings out the worst in human nature like a crowded mall. :) I can't wait to start Christmas shopping!
←Rate | 12-18-2010 15:26 by Timoteo Comments (0)  

   messageicon If all my Christmas presents were wrapped in bubble wrap... it's be like two gifts in one!!
←Rate | 12-25-2011 02:49 by JaxWylde Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing Christmas.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It"s ok to pretend you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?
←Rate | 03-17-2011 12:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 17:55 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 12:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 01:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, I didn't want to make it too hard for you this year, so, the only thing on my list this year is 1 year paid leave from work. with bonus
←Rate | 12-15-2011 06:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I snuck in my neighbor's house last night and ate up all their Christmas cookies. This secret Santa thing isn't so bad after all.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 07:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Christmas tree isn't the only thing that's getting lit this time of year.
←Rate | 12-24-2012 13:06 by @topherjordan Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've got Christmas spirit!! I just hung a little Christmas tree air freshener in my car.....ahhhhh smells like the holidays
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:14 by wendy rafferty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I couldn't believe it when my wife announced she was leaving me for being too lazy. Especially after I'd spent all morning taking the Christmas decorations down.....
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:17 by Ballysboots Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa loves the rich kids more.
←Rate | 12-05-2010 00:09 Comments (0)  

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