Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Never tell your wife she is just like her mother, even if it's true.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 00:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On our 1st date she wanted to take me to a strip club, but I wasn't ready to meet her mother.
←Rate | 08-07-2010 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My cell phone battery dies faster than a mother in a Disney movie.
←Rate | 03-04-2015 13:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've noticed that the most attractive women always drive those cute little cars! Which reminds me...the mother-in-law's Panzer needs an oil change!!
←Rate | 08-09-2018 09:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Mother Nature, If you promise to stop with all of this pollen nonsense, I'll promise to stop referring to you as an evil whore. Sincerely, Alabama
←Rate | 04-07-2010 18:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is only one woman who has truly changed me. It was my mother and I was a baby.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 03:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best medicine in the world is a mother's hug
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:54 by Surge yarmolyuk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 13:14 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon was talking with my neighbor when we saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said "Are you going to help?" I said No, six should be enough.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 14:06 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"
←Rate | 02-24-2011 15:24 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its a sad day. Signed, Epstein's Mother
←Rate | 01-27-2012 13:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Daughter: Momma, can a woman get pregnant from an@l s3x? Mother: Sure Honey. Where do you think politicians come from?
←Rate | 12-19-2013 15:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm taking my family to see the Nutcracker on Saturday. Of course I'm talking about my mother-in-law, not the show.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 22:51 by Jeff W Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!
←Rate | 03-19-2010 13:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your girl accuses you of something just say "My mother was right about you." That will transfer attention from you to your mother.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 01:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
←Rate | 04-15-2016 16:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”
←Rate | 04-04-2012 21:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Truth of life - Mother`s tears hit your heart and wife`s tears hit your pocket.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 08:01 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently, mother nature isn't too fond of the brothers either…
←Rate | 08-27-2012 22:06 Comments (0)  

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