Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My wife has asked me to get her some gloves to wear at her mother's funeral. Does anyone know where I can buy those giant foam fingers?

   The worst sight in the world is...SEEING YOUR MOTHER CRY.

   Son: Where did I come from daddy? Dad: Your Mother Son: Where did she come from? Dad: THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!

   Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....

   If a lawyer and your mother-in-law were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go watch TV or just have a drink?

   A blizzard in January, and a tornado in February. I didn't realize how bi polar mother nature really is.

   Next time the bully asks you for your lunch money, tell him you left it on his mother's dresser.

   I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies

   Never tell your wife she is just like her mother, even if it's true.

   Its a sad day. Signed, Epstein's Mother

   On our 1st date she wanted to take me to a strip club, but I wasn't ready to meet her mother.

   My cell phone battery dies faster than a mother in a Disney movie.

   I've noticed that the most attractive women always drive those cute little cars! Which reminds me...the mother-in-law's Panzer needs an oil change!!

   Lots of mothers are gonna be surprised when their Mother's Day gift is a barrel of oil

   There is only one woman who has truly changed me. It was my mother and I was a baby.

   The best medicine in the world is a mother's hug

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   was talking with my neighbor when we saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said "Are you going to help?" I said No, six should be enough.

   You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"

   Daughter: Momma, can a woman get pregnant from an@l s3x? Mother: Sure Honey. Where do you think politicians come from?