Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Robert Kraft's prostitution arrest. Voluntary exchange of sex and compensation between consenting adults. Kinda like marriage.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:54 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Robert Kraft: From Super Bowl Ring to Prostitution Ring
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Belichick= Spygate. Brady= Deflategate. Kraft= Tailgate
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 13:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In unrelated news Julian Edleman and Tom Brady have just checked in to couples therapy...
←Rate | 02-22-2019 12:19 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Chinese pal is very upset about Peter Tork, and has been muttering "I'm a bereaver" all day?
←Rate | 02-22-2019 08:36 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung devices can now run 3 apps simultaneously while you can't even hover past incoming calls on the iPhone😩
←Rate | 02-21-2019 14:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung galaxy S10 Will still Touch ground and break If it can't float on the air when I mistakenly drop it, I don't want
←Rate | 02-21-2019 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
←Rate | 02-21-2019 12:41 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Why do recipes say to "preheat oven?" Shouldn't it just be "heat oven?"
←Rate | 02-21-2019 11:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo Jussie...this $3,500 check bounced!
←Rate | 02-21-2019 09:53 Comments (8)  


   messageicon Facebook - The only place in the world you can be social while being antisocial.
←Rate | 02-21-2019 03:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was kind of surprised at all the swearing when I unplugged the church organ to charge my phone?
←Rate | 02-21-2019 01:37 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never laugh at your wife's choices. You're one of them.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 23:06 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer bottle: "Break me and you get one year bad luck." Mirror: "Are you kidding, break me you get seven years bad luck." Condom: Ha ha ha, and walks away.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 13:38 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think politeness is important. That's why I offer my seat to a lady when I get off the bus.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 13:32 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon DOCTOR: why do you think you need this medication? ME: I saw the commercial and the side effects sounded pretty awesome
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm Steven Tyler's scarf manager.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the fate of the world ever rests on knowing 80s music lyrics, call me.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; If he doesn't want to watch you masturbate he's not that into you....or girls
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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