Exercise Funny Status Messages

   opening a gym called Resolutions in January. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50

   If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.

   whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   Time for the shake weight exercise, minus the shake weight.

   Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

   I count breathing as exercise.

   I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

   Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

   I always feel tricked into exercise when I peel an orange.

   I don't like exercise so I'm not going to walk a mile in your shoes....I'll judge you standing right here!!!!!

   Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?

   if swimming is great exercise, explain whales to me?

   Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better

   Everyone's always competing for the best weight loss plan, I got it right here: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat. #legit

   omg I just found out I'm allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!

   Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   I want to go to prison....I hear the exercise program there is AWESOME!!!

   Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left now turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

   Okay ladies, exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!

   Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!