Abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Smile. It's easier than explaining why you're sad.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:47 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon When did "wear something green" turn into "dress like an idiot?"
←Rate | 03-17-2011 18:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon plan for the day. 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2.figure the rest out later
←Rate | 03-17-2011 18:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just kidding" is just an excuse to not get in trouble for something that you really wanted to say all along.
←Rate | 03-19-2011 19:23 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 09:13 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:48 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This vodka diet is freaking awesome, I've already lost 3 days.
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:00 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait 'til I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear.
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:02 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happened to that guy from the 90's who sang that song about barely breathing. I hope he's OK!
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother Nature can be cruel sometimes. If I ever meet her I'm gonna snatch her purse. Old B*tch
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My phone used to say things like "3 missed calls" and now it says things like "nobody even thought about calling you."
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, for example: "I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth!"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:14 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:15 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I lost my balance crawling into bed and leaned my head on the ceiling to prevent from falling over.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 12:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don't block the view.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:55 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just rescued some wine.. it was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:56 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men like curves; Only dogs like bones.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:28 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whose idea was it to "be an adult?"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  




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