love Funny Status Messages

   Drinking, smoking and fatty foods are taking too long to kill me. I had to fall in love again to speed-up the process.

   today is 4-20! ...like I had to tell you... sit back .relax. and show some love :)

   I LOVE it when people that I don't like friend request me on Facebook, I feel like St. Peter --- DE-NIED! Ü

   ofcourse I love women and have an undying respect fo 'em. , .they rate way up on my priority list . . right after measles,chicken pox and broken legs

   I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.

   Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at

   Dear Wendy's, I so love your delicious, frozen treat called the Frosty. May I make a suggestion? Instead of a plastic straw, could you please substitute this with a bamboo straw? I'm tired of the plastic straws collapsing on me.

   When I was 13, I had my first love, ASDFGHJKQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM above!

   being a die hard 80's fan I really hate what is going on with Brett Michaels. Doctors can't seem to find out what is going on in his head. They might want to check his other head. After Rock of Love all the answers could lie there.. Just sayin

   What is a wedding tragedy?. . . To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!!

   Awww! Isn't that sweet. Everyone's so in love... excuse me while I regurgitate.

   Jeff Gordon vs. Jimmie Johnson...I love it when DIVA's fight!!

   I love Kit-Kat...unless I'm with four or more people.

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   The best relationship is the one that's built on love and lust.. sry sry TRUST

   Dear men who are smart and hot and madly in love with me: Please start existing.

   Hey Boston-LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER♥

   I went to Japan and got myself a discount prostitute. She love me moderate time.