SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My wife started clipping coupons to help save us money. She keeps them in her 800.00 purse....
←Rate | 11-07-2014 17:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about fighting someone in a Denny's parking lot is win or lose you can go in and have some waffles afterwards.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 17:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 17:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon One thing parenting has taught me- telling a kid they're tired is like telling a drunk person they're drunk. Anger and denial follows
←Rate | 11-06-2014 17:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you won't have anything to smile and talk about when you're old
←Rate | 11-06-2014 16:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon maybe congress should hire Nik Wallenda to balance the budget...
←Rate | 11-02-2014 22:29 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon well how long before we see KC Royals World Series shirts on the news during an ebola segment in Africa. ...
←Rate | 10-29-2014 23:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of the importance of safe sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet you guys can't guess what the Titanic's least favorite kind of lettuce is
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:43 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if those guys who ordered that white boy to play funky music until he died ever got arrested.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 13:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
←Rate | 10-08-2014 10:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my tombstone to just say "You should see the other guy" on it
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hackers leak rare photos of Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus wearing clothing.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NFL is taking it's crackdown on violence so seriously, the refs are now using rape whistles.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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