Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon So a robot can't figure out which of these pitcures contain a stop sign but anyway we are letting them drive big trucks?
←Rate | 02-25-2019 08:22 by @stevevsninjas Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun thing to do is to call someone & say "HI THIS IS BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO YOUR VHS RENTAL OF NEW JACK CITY IS 1,382 DAYS PAST DUE"
←Rate | 02-25-2019 08:07 by @GrantTanaka Comments (0)  


   messageicon So PETA is putting down pet cats and recruiting hot babes to protest naked...I guess I need to take the protest against them to a new level.
←Rate | 02-25-2019 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the HELL did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?
←Rate | 02-25-2019 03:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
←Rate | 02-24-2019 15:54 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
←Rate | 02-24-2019 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think about it, a boxing match is really just someone trying to count to 10 but they're constantly being interrupted by a fistfight between two other people.
←Rate | 02-24-2019 07:44 Comments (1)  


   messageicon 'Sometimes, being hurt too many times, doesn't make you stronger, it destroy who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today.''
←Rate | 02-24-2019 02:57 by image-status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?
←Rate | 02-23-2019 15:01 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere at this moment there is a masseuse with a ring from Super Bowl XXXVI walking into a Pawn Shop.
←Rate | 02-23-2019 05:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remix to conviction.. hot and ready for prison..R. Kelly
←Rate | 02-23-2019 05:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 21:43 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thank-you Robert Kraft and R. Kelly!" - Jussie Smollett
←Rate | 02-22-2019 21:27 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess winning the Super Bowl wasn't the happy ending Robert Kraft was looking for.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 21:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to worry Kraft. At least you're not Chicago.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Robert Kraft's prostitution arrest. Voluntary exchange of sex and compensation between consenting adults. Kinda like marriage.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:54 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Robert Kraft: From Super Bowl Ring to Prostitution Ring
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Belichick= Spygate. Brady= Deflategate. Kraft= Tailgate
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 13:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In unrelated news Julian Edleman and Tom Brady have just checked in to couples therapy...
←Rate | 02-22-2019 12:19 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  




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