santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!" Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer
←Rate | 12-08-2018 08:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus
←Rate | 12-07-2018 15:37 by KG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just for the record: If your single and planning on asking me out this close to Christmas the only thing you'll be getting from me is a book, which will be do back at the libary just after the new years.
←Rate | 12-06-2018 15:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A Nightmare on Elm Street is a Christmas movie. Freddy wears a red and green sweater, and gives parents the gift of taking away their crippling financial burden.
←Rate | 12-05-2018 13:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never buy my grandchildren's christmas presents in november. They really seem fun...and Christmas is in more than a month...oh what the heck: I have to try them. It's party time!
←Rate | 11-25-2018 09:25 by mohayg Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You should worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. :-)
←Rate | 11-19-2018 14:13 by Pilgrim Comments (1)  

   messageicon Lets all say a prayer for Bill Clinton after watching the Monica interview his holidays will suck
←Rate | 11-19-2018 10:44 Comments (2)  

   messageicon A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.
←Rate | 11-15-2018 18:02 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Good news for insomniacs! Only 2 more sleeps to Christmas!
←Rate | 11-14-2018 06:29 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all the Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas iteam for sale at the sametime in the stores they should call it Hallogivemas sale.
←Rate | 10-30-2018 00:33 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen" So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.
←Rate | 10-26-2018 15:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Ho ho oh my God I can’t stop giggling!” -Santa Claus, after eating cookies in homes across Canada
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?
←Rate | 09-27-2018 01:30 Comments (1)  

   messageicon WIFE: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas. ME: {drinking toast} Why?
←Rate | 07-01-2018 11:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hacked into Santa's computer and obtain is naughty girls list........ Looks like there be no more lonely nights for me.
←Rate | 05-08-2018 20:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
←Rate | 03-24-2018 12:41 Comments (0)  

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