santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-18-2016 07:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon NOTICE: To the people who have flashing blue and red Christmas lights in their yard.....can you remove them, please? Every time I pass by, I think it is the cops and I have to remove my foot from the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seatbelt on, throw my p
←Rate | 12-17-2016 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body ... And please don't get it backwards like you did last year!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yup.... No matter how old you are .... an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube will always become a Star Wars light saber.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Media is now reporting that Christmas is actually a Russian plot hatched by Putin & Trump to lure people into a false sense of Joy. They are urging that we reject any feelings of joy and focus on being angry at the 2016 Election results.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 00:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list,, or his “naughty” list,, Just ask Russia,,, and they'll just hack it for you.
←Rate | 12-16-2016 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bought all of my Christmas gifts really early this year, Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's Christmas list.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon SCORE!!! .... I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough....Well ... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ....... HA ... The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 12 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...... .♫♪♫..... it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas... ♫♪♫
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think it's time I go outside and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!
←Rate | 12-13-2016 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas you can either join the Mile High club or the less prestigious Rock Bottom club, having sex on a Greyhound bus. If that's not rock bottom, I don't know what is.
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Christmas tree wasn't the only thing that got lit up last weekend!!
←Rate | 12-12-2016 11:50 Comments (0)  

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