Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Somehow she tracked that fart back to me....and that's how I met your mother.
←Rate | 04-10-2014 06:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the words of our dear beloved and departed, Mother Theresa - “these hoes ain’t loyal”
←Rate | 04-04-2014 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The year is 2035. Plagues and starvation have wiped out most of the earth's population. Your mother is still a whore.
←Rate | 04-02-2014 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dad what's an infinite loop?"..."Ask your mother."... "Mom what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your father."... "Dad what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your........
←Rate | 03-29-2014 19:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your girl accuses you of something just say "My mother was right about you." That will transfer attention from you to your mother.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 01:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it about your mother's basement that makes you so tough on the internet?
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying "mother$ucker"
←Rate | 03-02-2014 21:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that's when I hired my first hooker.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!
←Rate | 02-16-2014 21:01 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon mother nature... turning february into white history month...
←Rate | 02-12-2014 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:50 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Old Man Winter & Mother Nature need to have a few drinks and make a little Spring.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 11:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you realize you will probably never be half the man your mother is...
←Rate | 02-03-2014 19:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mother Nature: Get off the Vortex aleready.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 17:08 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not joking who ever pissed off mother nature Stop!
←Rate | 01-24-2014 21:13 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon "FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" - Mother Nature
←Rate | 01-07-2014 18:18 by SColeman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Polar vortex proof Mother nature is not having a gender identity crisis. In everyday terms that's cold hearted.
←Rate | 01-07-2014 08:09 by dirkdigler650 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daughter: Momma, can a woman get pregnant from an@l s3x? Mother: Sure Honey. Where do you think politicians come from?
←Rate | 12-19-2013 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."
←Rate | 12-16-2013 10:07 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."
←Rate | 12-10-2013 01:15 by StonerDudee Comments (4)  


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