Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 33
I actually never like to touch baby carrots,,, because I'm afraid the mother will reject them.
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01-09-2016 09:44 by snotty
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Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mother
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01-09-2016 08:15 by MWC
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A daughter asked her mother how to spell pinus, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
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01-09-2016 08:12 by MWC
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Hey 2015... Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, you Dirty Mother Fucker!!!
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12-31-2015 11:26
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My mother in-law is letting me renovate her kitchen. My wife told me to get the cupboards from that Scandinavian company with the short name. Turns out it was IKEA not LEGO,
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12-26-2015 18:22
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My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
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12-18-2015 19:14
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Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?
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12-18-2015 15:23
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In mother Russia, Turkey shoots you for Thanksgiving
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11-24-2015 12:46
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Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
Apparently today is Mother-In-Law day. Who knew
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10-25-2015 07:25
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Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.
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10-21-2015 15:08
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When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
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09-04-2015 16:02 by huck
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Actually, Yes! I do want to see a picture of your Mother-In-Law Eli. Your wife is hot!
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08-21-2015 12:51
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Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day!"
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07-21-2015 08:33
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Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
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06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone
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"Sorry, her mother is a pterodactyl" ..... *Me with the screeching toddler in the grocery store.
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05-29-2015 18:17 by snotty
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Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today
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05-10-2015 20:50
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Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!
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05-10-2015 19:31 by Timk
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Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for the womb and board.
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05-10-2015 15:01
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