Exercise Funny Status Messages

   I really admire people who exercise. This cake is dedicated to you.

   They tell me that exercise makes you look and feel better about yourself, to them I say, "So does alcohol"

   Ugh,,, You'd think this restless leg syndrome would be exercise enough.

   The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money

   I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise. And I was right.

   told my wife that the doctor put me on a new exercise program that requires me to walk 3 miles a day, she said good next week you'll be 21 miles away...

   Running away is not exercise.

   I don't mind when people exercise their right to free speech, but I'd prefer they'd exercise their right to remain silent.

   My exercise regimen is basically just my heart rate elevating at an alarming level when I realize I'm out of beer.

   The only exercise I have done this month is running out of money.

   I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.

   Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila. Perhaps it's time to try both....

   Just added 'Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car' as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.

   Goals Every College Student Should Accomplish This Summer: 1) Ween myself off coffee. 2) Exercise other than walking to classes. 3) Get onto a sleep cycle similar to that of a human. 4) PARTY!!!!

   The "Map My Run" Facebook posts are a great way to track how far you went to brag about exercise or show your exercise running from the police.

   Claiming a product promotes "Weight Loss" when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming that it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.

   How do you get Americans to exercise their right to vote when you can't even get them to exercise?

   The Land of the Free but don't exercise your freedoms because that's not patriotic.

   Would do anything for happiness but not like diet and exercise or staying off social media and seeking help from a professional.

   What to exercise today? Spots hottie in shorts. Gets on random machine nearby. Carefully follows her around gym.