Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I'm gonna bake Valentine's Day cupcakes for a special someone today. That special someone is me. 
Nothing owns Libs harder than day-drunk-texting top secret war plans to reporters.
“Cry harder” posts coming in 3
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I give head.
Next week is my big High school GED reunion .
I got some new underwear. Well they're new to me.
VANCE SHOULD GO TO GREENSBORO OR GREEN BAY TO SEE HOW MUCH TR*MP'S TARIFF TAX IS COSTING PEOPLE 😀
Dr fauci told people on F*x to use vitamin A & cod liver oil to prevent or cure measles. Now kids still have measles but they took so much vitamin A, hospitals are treating kids with liver damage. Funny! 😀
I always look forward to the couple of dumbbells who try to "debate" with us when we're simply using this stupid site for storage 😂
"The Pope was a very good Christian, but not a very good Catholic."
I wish I could steal corny one liners and click "Iike" on my own posts as an act of hollow accomplishment.
Who's the 👎 kweer?
The NFL is rigged, and the halftime show is jigged.
You gonna eat your butter? No one ever said.
To all my friends who are committed: Happy Valentine's Day! And to all my friends who are single: Happy Independence Day!
The NY Times estimate of how many would die from USAID cuts *this year* is staggering. Two million from AIDS relief cuts, half a million from vaccine cuts from food aid cuts each, 600,000 from of malaria and tuberculosis cuts.... are we having fun yet?
GaryKoenig's ignorance is surpassed only by his ability to not come up with anything original. Thievery at its most intrinsic level
You know someone has made no valid points when they end their responses with LMAOOOO and LOLZZZZZ. It's a beautiful thing to know we've bested the loser.
Q. Know what? A. That's what! That's funny, right?
Democraps fought tooth and nail to stop people from handing out bottles of water while in line to vote, but now they are totally fine with a billionaire offering them money for votes?
Generic Viagra. Same medicine at a lower price. No bones about it. 