love Funny Status Messages

   I love you more than I hate everyone else.

   Meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Wednesday because this is bulls**t."

   boy, the day flys by when you do something you love. Like sleep till Noon...

   I love you but I'm too lazy to show it.

   From the creator of ‘'I Like You As A Friend'' and ‘'I Love You Like A Brother'' comes in 3D ‘'I Don't Know How To Tell You You're Ugly''

   OK girls...we aren't ignoring you, we are not being disrespectful, we hear the phone ringing, we hear the text notification!! We still love you, thank you for all you do.....So go shopping or get your nails done, go out with the girls or get something wax

   Just because I tell you that I love you does not mean I really do. I might be drunk. Or just really, really horny.

   i love when rich people compliment me on things that I spent less than $5 on

   My love for bacon is kinda like diarrhea... I just can't hold it in ツ

   When you love someone you take interest in their interests or at least pretend to.

   How much does it cost these days to make someone love you?

   I love eavesdropping on people's private conversations. Always hoping I hear something that leads to me foiling a terrorist plot.

   I love a woman in a suit! Her birthday suit that is.

   As I scroll through my FB feed this holiday season, I find myself overcome with emotion and love. And then I remember I've had a lot of tequila and eggnog and I pass out on the floor.

   Man I hate Taylor Swift..I mean don't you wanna put her over your knee and spank her azz,,,her tight, firm, round azz,,,and pull her hair,,,her soft, flowing beautiful hair,,,man I love Taylor Swift.

   The world is ending tomorrow & we still don't know who let the dogs out, what is love, & Where's Waldo ,or Victoria's secret

   I love tequila because I like where I wake up to be a surprise.

   I "don't lock my phone," love you.

   Dear facebook event invite: I'd love nothing more than to travel 1100 miles to see your half a$$ed band play other people's music in a bar that's filled with 4 people. DECLINE!

   Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide?