santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I would not even buy my worst enemy a selfie stick for christmas present. I am not that cold.

   What you never hear if you live in Santa Clarita.."I'll be back in a few minutes"

   A Christmas tree isn't going to be the only thing lit this holiday season

   From the Paris Climate Change Conference: Santa is required to put solar panels in the stockings of naughty kids.

   ♪ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

   Teach your child what's going on in the world by telling them Santa was killed in a drone strike in a no fly zone; or he's being held up in the vetting process.

   I'm an adult and I still believe in Santa clause, I figure why not? There's still adults who believe in Obama.

   Today is the official day for guys to start their Xmas shopping

   If you're atheist so don't celebrate Christmas

   Thank You Santa for helping make Christianity less believable than it already was

   All I want for Christmas is lots of bubble wrap

   Enough with the pro-Xmas vs con-Xmas: IT IS FESTIVUS!

   My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for new underwear.

   As much as Santa came last night I bet he will sleep for a week

   Santa came down the chimney, at half past three. W

   I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus; then I saw her helping him empty his sack.

   athiests are awful quite Xmas morning

   I hate being sick at Christmas. My wife says I'm not sick, but I was just jacking it while looking at a picture of a fat nun pissing on a hot schools girl. How is that not sick.

   Christmas. It's been a long 2 1/2 months.