Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6270 of 6370
BREAKING NEWS: Barack Obama knocked down by reversing car. The American people are asking the driver to come forward.
I have two nipples, and I aint sharing either one of 'em.
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11-10-2009 12:53
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A survey taken showed that 50% of people described sex as a "deep,meaningful,soul-bonding act of showing eternal love to your partner". The other 50% were men.
..really hates her boss. When I showed up 2 hours late,he shouted at me. I told him I had fallen down the stairs . He said "So? That doesn't take two hours!!"
in Napa Valley looking for wine, but should be in the midwest, talking to Repubicans cause no one whines line a Repubilcan.
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11-10-2009 11:51
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I didn't hit you....I simply high fived your face
wondering why the police officers never seem to think it's as funny as you do...
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11-10-2009 10:02
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"having a smoking section in a restaurant should b like having a peeing section in a swimming pool......." right??
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11-10-2009 09:06
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I wore a Michael Vick jersey to the dogpark. Yea, I'm a badass. What.
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11-10-2009 08:59 by Joseph
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I drank so much vodka last night that my liver is giving me the finger!
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11-10-2009 08:47
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wondering...Do you think stores would open another resister if I brought a flame thrower in with me? I f****n hate to wait!!!!
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11-10-2009 07:14
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Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...
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11-10-2009 04:47 by Khola
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says, Love your enemies. It will confuse them!..
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11-10-2009 04:46 by Khola
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believes in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it..
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11-10-2009 04:45 by Khola
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wants to do something different today so is thinking about sitting on the TV to watch the sofa!!!..=D
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11-10-2009 04:42
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--------- ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -----------
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11-10-2009 04:41 by Khola
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looking through your bedroom window
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11-10-2009 01:42 by Gareth
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we dont need no educashun
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11-10-2009 01:40 by Gareth
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"always appears a saint, when most I play the devil"
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11-10-2009 01:35 by pz
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No matter how little I do in a day....I always feel like I could have done less.
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11-09-2009 23:58 by Mike
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