Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6268 of 6370
Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius
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11-12-2009 01:28 by Pineapple
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make love, not babies.
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11-12-2009 00:04
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THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN
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11-11-2009 22:01
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If you add me as your friend and I ignore you.....Do move on it's just facebook. Don't change your name and profile picture and add me again! The request will still be ignored! I still know it's you!
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11-11-2009 21:07
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I got my free meal from Applebee's today, it was good to see fellows Vets of all ages getting it in. Although I swear some of them old guys look like the may hay survived the war of 1812 I'm glad we enjoyed it together. Now who's pouring free DRINKS for u
what's the difference between 'Live Feed' and 'News Feed?' Isn't all the news supposed to be Live!!!
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11-11-2009 17:56 by Danmanz
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-If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
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11-11-2009 17:31
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you can have a warm glass of shut the hell up, now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep....your in my world now grandma!!
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11-11-2009 17:25
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going to The Regal Beagle tonight with Janet and Chrissy. Larry will meet us later. When we get together, shenanigans will soon follow.
Single and ready for Rumble!
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11-11-2009 16:44
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to work because the kids need new leg irons.
Wonders who the first idiot was that tried out a Shark proof suit?
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11-11-2009 13:54
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On Saturday night the House narrowly passed the healthcare bill. They say the reason it passed was because Nancy Pelosi didn't blink. But she hasn't blinked since what, 1982?
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11-11-2009 13:31
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a war baby. My parents took one look at me and started fighting
dont waste ur breth on me sweetie, ull have2 blow up ur date later.
that people think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Leave Me Alone! I Am Not Being Rude, It's Just That You Are Insignificant
thinks that We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
planning to hire a singing fat lady and take her to work, just in case someone says his tasks ain't over yet
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11-11-2009 07:39 by S
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Whats the difference between a wife and a prostitute? One's on contract,the other's pay-as-you-go.