Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick-skinned, short-sighted and always ready to charge.
I think I need to start doing pullups to get more of the ladies attention. Pull up in a Benz, Pull up in a Vette, Pull up in a Beamer....
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01-08-2010 10:26 by Vito
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could care less about the color, as long as it is on my floor with the rest of your clothes.
ladies... dont forget about cervical cancer awareness day today.
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01-08-2010 08:07
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Pump Up The Volume ιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlι
just because I flirt it doesn't mean I'm interested, it just means I'm awake
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01-08-2010 07:46 by gguy
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very shy. please flirt aggressively
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01-08-2010 07:44 by gguy
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..is at home taking care of mum after her accident..she fell in front of a man and ended up with a big bump. A bit like how I was conceived,really ..
Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex.
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01-08-2010 02:30 by Rain
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Help! My Chia Pet is sick and I'm not sure if I should bring it to the Vet or the Florist?
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01-07-2010 23:40 by Vito
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For tomorrows bra forecast, its looking mostly black with a splash of peach moving in for the afternoon. Tomorrow night, it's all leopard skin, with lows in the matching thong.
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01-07-2010 23:28 by Jeffrey
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as my part of breast cancer awareness I will be giving "free mammograms"...
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01-07-2010 19:13 by chadwick
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..if I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet ,i'll put shoes on my cats!
happy to learn what bra color all my female friends are wearing today! I don't belive any of you...send pics just so I know your not lying to me....
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01-07-2010 18:17
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all I know is ANY other day ask a woman what color bra they're wearing and you get a dirty look. Make it for awareness and colors are flying like the gay pride parade.
Yes guys the colors are bra colors they are wearing...it is for breast cancer awareness...Just tell them you give free mammograms or that NUDE is a color...HA
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01-07-2010 17:42
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hates shoving snow...is there an app for that?
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01-07-2010 15:53
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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01-07-2010 15:41
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
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01-07-2010 15:40
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