love Funny Status Messages

   I love St. Valentine's Day. Not the holiday, the massacre.

   If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.

   I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I'm roofing.

   Just realised why women love shoes over clothing, because no matter how much weight they gain, the shoes still fit.

   Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.

   Chocolate contains 'phenylethylamine'. That's the same natural chemical your brain produces when you fall in love. And you wonder why women like chocolate.

   The funnest thing about the end of a relationship is being honest about why you pretended to love each other.

   Ladies, don't believe the magazines. Men don't like skinny women who starve themselves. They love women who are pretty & starve themselves.

   "I love you! See ya in about an hour!" - Me talking to my beer.

   I love Facebook because I can't afford gas for my car anymore so it's the only way I can visit with anyone now.

   If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on

   Why do some parents always talk about how much they love their kids but the kids live 500 miles away with the other parent?

   Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone.

   when I make love, I like to do so to the sounds of the Star Trek theme, so that way the girl feels she's going to a place where no other girl has gone before

   there's a thin line between love & hate & it's located on marriage certificates rite under the signatures

   The only person you should believe when they tell you they love you is your dog and weed.

   if you've been married less than a year, stop with all the love and marriage quotes. S hit will eventually hit the fan...

   At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. At the touch of beer, everyone becomes a superhero.

   I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers.

   "i would do anything for love, but I won't do that...or that, or that, or that, or that, or that"