Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6032 of 6370
No one is listening until you fart.
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04-02-2010 13:07
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I feel pretty lucky. Thousands of people die every day and it's never me.
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04-02-2010 13:06
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At lunch time, I like to park my car on the side of the road with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
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04-02-2010 13:05
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Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.
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04-02-2010 13:04
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the most confident when naked, too bad I can't be naked in front of my interviewers.
just had a moment of genius, a chocolate Easter bunny that is filled with the Cadbury Cream Egg filling......YUMMMM!!!
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04-02-2010 07:57 by Scott
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doesn't get upset at broken promises; I just think, why did they believe me?
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04-02-2010 05:00 by jg
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A dress is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the premises without obstructing the view.
me and my husband been happy for 20 years. And then one day we met.
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04-02-2010 02:06
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I'm not lady gaga but I too want to take a ride on your disco stick
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04-02-2010 02:04
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noticed a friends facebook status said that he's suicidal and thinking about jumping off a bridge. So I poked him
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04-02-2010 01:56 by charlie
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Accidentally grabbing the glitter spray instead of the feminine deopdorant spray gives "disco stick" a whole new meaning.
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
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04-01-2010 23:06
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Scientists confirm diarrhea is hereditary, saying it "runs in your jeans."
having a threesome with Ben and Jerry
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04-01-2010 21:27
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I wanted a good suit for a job interview. The missus said"Why don't you borrow the suit your dad wore at the funeral last week?" It really was a good suit, so I grabbed a shovel,headed for the graveyard and........
its not team edward or Jacob its team necrophilliac or team beastiality
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04-01-2010 20:53 by Luka
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The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
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04-01-2010 20:06 by Naishadh
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
A baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out.
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04-01-2010 18:19
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