Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6008 of 6370
A friend of mine sent me a postcard with a satellite photo of the entire planet on it, and on the back he wrote, "Wish you were here."
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04-13-2010 14:38 by Aaron
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I have a full-size map of the world. At the bottom it says "1 inch = 1 inch". I hardly ever unroll it.
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04-13-2010 14:36 by Aaron
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I bought some batteries... but they weren't included... so I had to buy them again...
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04-13-2010 14:30 by Aaron
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I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
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04-13-2010 14:28 by Aaron
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the proof for darwin's theory.
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04-13-2010 14:28
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Its a beautiful day out. The sun is out, the birds are out and Ricky Martin is out
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04-13-2010 13:59
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Every once in a while you should get a check up...on who your real friends are.
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04-13-2010 13:31
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enjoyed how Ben Roethlisberger decided he needed to look like Jesse James at his press conference!
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04-13-2010 12:57 by Kiki
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KFC's new Double-Down sandwich was just introduced for $4.99...For an extra .99 cents a KFC employee will cut out the middleman altogether and lean over the counter and stab you in the friggin' heart!!
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04-13-2010 12:49
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why do people think it's necessary to pose with alcohol in facebook pictures??? It was original the first dozen times.
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04-13-2010 12:13
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getting a 1 bedroom apartment and a cat in May. Or, as I like to call it, the "Serial Killer Starter Kit."
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04-13-2010 11:31
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Yes Officer...I did see the Speed Limit sign...I just didn't see YOU...
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
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04-13-2010 10:48 by MG
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Gee! that lady from Operation Repo gets bigger with each repo :O
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04-13-2010 08:44
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Honestly, when I crawled out of bed this morning I had no intention of being brilliant, but sometimes things just work out!
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04-13-2010 08:24
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just wants to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes CAN change your life!!
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04-13-2010 08:23
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You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born when completing on-line forms.
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04-13-2010 08:22
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A lot of people have made decisions about what I should do with my life; unfortunately, it hasn't worked out too well for them.
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04-13-2010 08:21
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asks for patience to deal with stupid people and courage to tolerate their ignorance because Lord only knows if I ask for strength I will beat them to death!
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04-13-2010 08:20
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out of bed ... waking up is another story ...
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04-13-2010 08:18
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