Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6004 of 6370
got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said 'I wanna watch'
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04-15-2010 03:57
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took his ex out last night... only took one punch.
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04-15-2010 03:55
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listen up men, you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. This time we are sure she's a woman, right?
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04-15-2010 03:29
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Rock breaks scissors. But paper covers rock, and scissors cut paper! We have a conundrum. Search for paper... and bring me a rock.
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04-15-2010 03:28
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A son's prayer "Lord, please let me grow up to be just like my dad." A Fathers prayer "Lord, please let me be the kind of man my son thinks I am."
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04-15-2010 02:00 by wfbphoto
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life's a b!tch, then you marry one.
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04-15-2010 00:53
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did you know that the following first letter of the months: july, august, sept, oct, and nov. it spells out "JASON" ?
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04-15-2010 00:17 by itzcurlie
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did you know that the word "bed" looks like a bed itself?
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04-15-2010 00:11 by itzcurlie
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I dont get when people say "I remember my first beer".... Cause I sure as hell dont..
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04-14-2010 23:58
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I can read minds... Youre reading my status right now arent you..
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04-14-2010 23:51
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There are no Puerto-Ricans on Star Trek...It appears they don't work in the future either........
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04-14-2010 23:49 by Buttamin
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The jersey shore cast is dumber than a 5th grader..
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04-14-2010 23:33
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wonders who's bright idea it was to shut down facebook chat for maintenence -___-
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04-14-2010 23:01
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"what happens in vegas, stays in vegas...except herpes, that sh*t will come back with you"
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04-14-2010 22:45
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I'm out like Obama in 3 years. Nite all!
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
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04-14-2010 22:18
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Thinking about starting a new diet, it's called the "Sight Unseen Diet." If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
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04-14-2010 21:46 by bigedusw
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Larry King's wife is accusing him of cheating on her. "Yeah, get in line," said Death.
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04-14-2010 21:43
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why kiss....when you can tell her lips a secret.
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04-14-2010 21:35 by Danmanz
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this is the promised land." Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and bankrupted the promised land.
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04-14-2010 21:31
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