santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My wife said I can't have a flamethrower for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An easy way to tell people you don't like them is to send them a Xmas card with glitter on it.
←Rate | 12-18-2018 21:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’d like to see a commercial where the wife receives a brand new Lexus on Christmas morning and the she turns to her husband and says "You idiot! WTF is the matter with you? We can’t afford a Lexus!"
←Rate | 12-17-2018 09:51 Comments (1)  


   messageicon When people say "Are you ready for Christmas?" I say "I'm ready for it to be over.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 07:37 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat
←Rate | 12-17-2018 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician..... It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 01:49 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do people who send out family Christmas cards want from us?
←Rate | 12-16-2018 09:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:07 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any tree can be a Christmas tree if you yell at your family around it.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 13:51 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have yourself a merry little christmas sounds pretty condescending - Jennifer Lopez
←Rate | 12-15-2018 13:50 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 08:46 by vaterpop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family I'm a gift!!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon FOUR STAGES OF A MANS LIFE : 1. You believe in santa. 2. You don't believe in santa. 3. You are santa. 4. You look like santa.
←Rate | 12-14-2018 16:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?
←Rate | 12-14-2018 13:31 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?
←Rate | 12-13-2018 12:02 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 09:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 08:50 Comments (0)  




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