santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...
←Rate | 12-28-2016 21:09 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.
←Rate | 12-28-2016 12:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it's because you're a whore.
←Rate | 12-27-2016 19:36 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon So over Christmas porn, there is only so much elf sex one can watch
←Rate | 12-26-2016 12:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 13:40 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 03:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon If everyone that receives a fruitcake for Christmas donates them to the government, Trump can build the brick wall!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 20:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fun Christmas prank: give your mom a new iPhone then refuse to help her set it up
←Rate | 12-24-2016 10:36 by unknown comic Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was going to wish merry christmas to all of the women that accused Trump of groping but I cant find them.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 08:49 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Evidently Cheering and doing play by play while my wife is wrapping presents wasn't the help she was looking for.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 05:24 by Richard fitzgrald Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember ladys, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.
←Rate | 12-23-2016 08:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's a list of my favourite xmas carols.
←Rate | 12-22-2016 13:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!
←Rate | 12-22-2016 12:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..
←Rate | 12-21-2016 18:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care what you say. Arbor Day and Christmas are cousins.
←Rate | 12-21-2016 08:34 by Tree Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!
←Rate | 12-19-2016 18:28 by jcgj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just found out that my wife is actually Mrs. Santa Claus!! At least that's what my kids tell me.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 09:22 Comments (0)  

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