abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I wish the camera would add ten pounds to my bank account
←Rate | 02-16-2011 16:27 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 17:13 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:15 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
←Rate | 03-11-2011 13:57 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a bat.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 20:02 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's official I've finally been over notified.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 15:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I FINALLY found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
←Rate | 02-28-2011 23:03 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:13 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look, I know you have your "swag on" but can you walk a little bit faster?
←Rate | 02-27-2011 21:06 by Abbybaby34 Comments (2)  

   messageicon When you find someone who finally understands you, the world will go away.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 12:12 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got an email asking me if I wanted to "be larger so I could please my lady." Heck no! She's the one who put me on this diet to begin with!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:41 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 15:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people ask "do you believe in aliens?", I just say "have you seen Lady Gaga?"
←Rate | 02-13-2011 22:58 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate you cheetos . You ruined all my good jeans .
←Rate | 02-11-2011 12:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?
←Rate | 03-07-2011 13:38 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't have an attitude problem. I have an attitude that you have a problem with. Therefore, I just have an attitude!
←Rate | 03-09-2011 15:13 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I found the key to success...however, I found a note from success's landlord saying that the locks have been changed.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 23:02 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My phone used to say things like "3 missed calls" and now it says things like "nobody even thought about calling you."
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Damn!! My internet is running slower than a turtle with 3 broken legs and a massive head injuty--doesn't it know that I am a FB addict?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:38 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

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