Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake. It's a choice.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 22:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone ever looked at some of the people you dated in High School that are now on Facebook and think, "Thank God, I really dodged a bullet on that ONE!?!"
←Rate | 09-30-2011 10:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 10:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
←Rate | 10-31-2012 14:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's time to break-up when the little things start to piss you off: "Damn girl, do you HAVE to close your eyes every time you blink? F*ck this sh!t, I'M OUT!"
←Rate | 08-30-2011 13:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
←Rate | 05-11-2012 10:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think everyone on the east coast should have played dead just to scare the crap out of everyone on the west coast.
←Rate | 05-22-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Cause, you know, opposites attract.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have benefits if anybody needs a friend.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 22:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell a girl a million times shes not fat... She'll never believe you... Call her fat once she'll never forget it.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 13:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools and economy are in great shape or I'd be mad.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 14:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh!tstorm that's coming.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 17:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just coughed and sneezed at the same time, I think I traveled 3 seconds into the future.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 19:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
←Rate | 09-09-2012 14:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So have they made a drink called Tequila Mockingbird yet? What the hell are they waiting for???
←Rate | 10-17-2011 13:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newton's laws say that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, proving he knew nothing about women.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 13:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other than insecurity, alcoholism, infidelity, and sheer stupidity most of you are pretty much perfect.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 11:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're talking on your cell phone in a public bathroom, I will flush the toilet over and over so your friend knows *exactly* where you are.
←Rate | 05-14-2011 13:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
←Rate | 12-01-2010 08:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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