Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6 of 6259

In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.
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05-26-2022 06:05
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When you’re on your third “damn, that’s crazy” and they keep talking.
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05-28-2022 01:36 by Jean
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Waking up and realizing you’re still not rich.
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05-17-2022 06:06
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Might put the tree up and call it a year.
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05-26-2022 06:05
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Are you the only one who gets it, understands it, or who thinks that your own jokes are funny? Something to consider while that jellybean rolls around in your coconut.
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05-26-2022 06:09
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If they can get their student loans forgiven, then I want my car loan forgiven. All loans matter.
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06-15-2022 01:37
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My girlfriend and I just had an entire conversation about hair bands before she realized I was talking about Motley Crue and she was talking about scrunchies.
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06-28-2022 23:48
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Someone living in their grandmother’s basement used to be the butt of the joke. The rental market is so insane that now it’s like, dam, you’ve got a whole basement to yourself, that’s sexy.
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05-11-2022 00:47
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Life is too short to die a coward.
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05-17-2022 06:06
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Trying to figure out how I spent 15k on chicken nuggets this year.
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05-19-2022 07:27
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I’m not afraid to die, I’m afraid to live on my knees ruled by lesser men who control the destiny of our children.
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05-28-2022 01:37 by Buck
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Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.
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06-03-2022 02:55
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64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatal…. But if she dies, she dies.
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06-15-2022 01:41
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When you try to swallow a pill, but it doesn’t go down and now it’s dissolving in your mouth.
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06-08-2022 20:45
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If you ground up everyone in the world, it would create a meatball the size of Central Park.
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06-10-2022 01:40
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IQ Test: To see results, enter your credit card number.
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06-15-2022 01:42
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Truth is like surgery; it hurts but it heals. A lie is like a painkiller; it gives instant relief but has terrible side effects.
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06-24-2022 01:05
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Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man, ruin it yourself.
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06-28-2022 23:49
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I just want someone to laugh at my jokes the way that Kamala laughs at questions she can’t answer.
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07-01-2022 01:47
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There’s no water in hell, only a bunch of sick jokes about pee-pees.
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06-07-2022 10:51
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