Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5968 of 6370
wondering if pediatricians and children's dentists play miniature golf on Wednesdays...
People's cellphone ringtones say a lot about them. Usually they say, "I'm mystified by this phone settings."
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04-28-2010 18:12 by Joser
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Yes acupuncture is an "ancient technique." Other "ancient techniques" included leeches and dying from plague. I'm good with drugs thanks.
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04-28-2010 18:11 by Joser
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Erectile disfunction commercials make watching TV with your parents akward!!!
Just realized how sad it is when people watch reality tv rather than going out and having a reality!
Life is like an iPhone, it's only as fun as the apps you have downloaded!!!!
When I looked out from my house, there were no cars....no people around, and my neighbors driveways were empty. It was quiet.......too quiet. Of course you would be thinking the same thing as I was..........that's right...Zombies!
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04-28-2010 17:18
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Premature Ejaculation ads make car rides awkward.....
Instead of Facebook asking "What's on your mind?", it should ask "What kind of drama do you have today?"
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04-28-2010 16:59
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I almost forgot I cheated on my diet until my wife found panties in my truck!
Instead of Facebooks asking "What's on your mind?", it should ask "Where's the beef?"
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04-28-2010 15:37
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getting bored with Dear Diary, oops she means Facebook. Just because facebook asks you "What's on your mind?" doesn't mean you have to answer, if it ask you to jump off a bridge would you do that to?
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04-28-2010 15:36
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I don't know about you, but I'm pretty disgusted by the "tips for a tiny belly" ads.
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04-28-2010 15:21 by tomcall
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I almost forgot that I had cheated on my diet Then I found that darned crumb in my bra.
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04-28-2010 14:16 by Michele
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How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?
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04-28-2010 14:07 by Joser
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Helloooo summer. How I've missed you and your lack of responsibilities...
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04-28-2010 13:47 by Joser
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Condom says to Tampax.."You put me outta Business for 1 week a month. Tampax says to Condom..."If you don't do your job I lose mine for 9 months."
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04-28-2010 13:46 by Joser
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girl next to me at work is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup... NICE!
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04-28-2010 13:43 by Joser
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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04-28-2010 13:37 by Aaron
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Dear AT&T Wireless, Thanks for transferring me to nine different agents with nine different accents...I am exhausted from this world-wide tour.
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04-28-2010 13:33 by BP
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