Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5938 of 6370
found a new place to live...it includes all utilities, free meals, gym, arts & crafts...and my insurance pays for it all...The Nuthouse :o)
Every time I hear a strange noise at night, I mentally prepare to fight off an intruder. If it's a velociraptor, I'm also totally ready.
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05-07-2010 18:21 by Joser
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There is always a double standard when strip clubs have 'All You Can Eat' buffets.
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05-07-2010 18:14 by Danmanz
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It's called cocaine and you dont want no part of this sh!t...It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare
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05-07-2010 18:04 by one
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when you really think about it….life and nature are pretty simple….it's all about finding food, building shelter, and getting some
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05-07-2010 17:56
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I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to
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05-07-2010 16:49
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the trouble with life is there is no background music
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05-07-2010 16:47
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not a mover and a shaker but instead I'm a wiggler and jiggler.
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05-07-2010 16:04
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wonders if a bunch of Shamwows will help clean up the spill in the Gulf
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05-07-2010 15:13
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: Dont you just wish you could go back to being a kid and let the adults take care of the problems that they created for themselves?
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05-07-2010 15:08
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copying your profile picture so I can put it in my wallet and pretend its my girlfriend
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05-07-2010 15:03
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Rihanna wants a rude boy...Didnt she get her a$$ whooped by one already?
A recent 100 million dollar study conducted by Harvard University just discovered that running out of money may be the main cause for Bankruptcy.
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05-07-2010 14:49 by Tracy
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Taking a picture of a flower does not make you a photographer......
Was trying to sign up for a website... It ask me what state I lived in... I couldn't find confusion nowhere in the drop box...
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05-07-2010 14:27
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Did I just say that! Or did I think it! Damn they spotted me..
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05-07-2010 13:55
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One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions
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05-07-2010 13:48
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will never wear a red shirt at target again.
KFC want you to buy a Bucket of obesity and heart attack inducing food for Breast Cancer? COME ON SON!!
Some people have an inflated view of their importance in my life.