Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5926
5927
5928
5929
5930
5931
5932
5933
6371
Next»
Page: 5930 of 6371
Playboy in 3-D! Take that, 18 billion hours of free, readily available Internet porn.
18
9
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:22 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
31
18
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:21 by
paulb808
Comments (
0
)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
189
33
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:18 by
pailb808
Comments (
0
)
Dear gigantic flock of birds chirping loudly in the parking lot sh*ting all over my car, There's still more north left... Go annoy Canada...
49
10
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:16 by
Joser
Comments (
1
)
I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
26
14
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:14
Comments (
0
)
Someone at work said to me, "Inquiring minds want to know if you have a boyfriend" I said, "Yes, I do, but don't tell my husband."
6
9
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:11
Comments (
0
)
If the game doesn't freeze every 6 minutes, then you're not watching FOX.
7
9
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:08 by
CJ
Comments (
0
)
I do not have the time to listen to you whine, you melodramatic fool!!
3
8
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:06
Comments (
0
)
Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
8
12
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:05
Comments (
0
)
Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what's on my mind. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
17
8
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:02
Comments (
0
)
I have a busy day ahead... I have trouble to start; rumors to spread and people to argue with.
8
5
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:59
Comments (
0
)
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
11
7
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:57
Comments (
0
)
18.I'd call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.
8
5
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:56
Comments (
0
)
11.You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
4
8
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:51
Comments (
0
)
1.Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
9
5
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:49 by
CJ
Comments (
0
)
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food
30
8
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:44
Comments (
0
)
When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!
12
4
←Rate |
05-11-2010 16:39 by
CJ
Comments (
0
)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
31
8
←Rate |
05-11-2010 15:29 by
paulb808
Comments (
0
)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. God I miss college. a moment ago clear
12
6
←Rate |
05-11-2010 15:28 by
paulb808
Comments (
0
)
Something about winning always attracts losers with opinions
53
10
←Rate |
05-11-2010 15:28
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5926
5927
5928
5929
5930
5931
5932
5933
6371
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com