Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5889 of 6371
coming up with a funny status update is overated.. be content with this one..
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05-29-2010 23:14
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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
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05-29-2010 21:31
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Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
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05-29-2010 21:31 by Aaron
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The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
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05-29-2010 21:30 by @rush1oc
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Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
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05-29-2010 21:28 by @rush1oc
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A friend in need is a pest indeed.
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05-29-2010 21:27 by @rush1oc
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A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.
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05-29-2010 21:26 by @rush1oc
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I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
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05-29-2010 21:22 by @rush1oc
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Paul Newman's half-Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too, put them together, what a fine looking Jew
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05-29-2010 21:16
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Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, ⠀˜Lie to me!'
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05-29-2010 20:40 by Pacumbo
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Does a coffin come with a life time guarantee?
my facebook wall is not the best way for me to respond to you Quicker,.. You'll have better luck getting a hold of me if you were to shout my name inside your own home... well,.. I guess depending on the situation."
more people should be less like most people.
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05-29-2010 17:04
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Why hasn't BP used my solution yet to stop that oil leak? Simple AND brilliant...contact Tampax, have the worlds largest tampon made. Stick it in the hole....TADA, no more leak...AND the BP execs will be able to go horseback riding afterwards.
Ex-president Bush blamed BP for the disaster off the coast of Louisiana. Later he recanted saying "He thought BP stood for Black President."
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds mature.
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05-29-2010 15:22 by Pacumbo
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Impotence: Nature's way of  saying 'No hard feelings...'Â
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05-29-2010 15:21 by Pacumbo
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Okay, so celebrities usually die in 3's... So far, Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman... who's next?
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05-29-2010 14:28 by Bonnie
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If celebs die in 3's... I hope Sarah Jessica Parker goes next... shes a horse face and a false prophet. Oh and everyone dies at the end of Sex 2!
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05-29-2010 14:07
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of course men can multi task.... we can read the news paper and sh*t at the same time
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05-29-2010 12:56
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