Funny Status Messages

   Ladies when it comes to Men if you dont do anything that affects their 5 senses then they'l never feel what you are trying to express......

   Hi, I'm Israel and I'm fxckd up. US, get your priorities straight. Killing sailors on an aid flotilla has pushed the limits of Israel's crimes against humanity.

   LOVE is one night stand..........TRUE LOVE is one night stand with same person lifelong..:)

   what does Relationship Status "ITS COMPLICATED" really means...Does it mean a Single man with Broken Hand or a Married person not getting any sex and hand broken too.?...Somebody please EXPLAIN

   A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

   Lights off, Music on, Phone in silent mode, tired body and calm mind; Perfect recipe for good night sleep.

   .i. love \i/

   If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of it

   Since I'm now single, if I broke my hand could I put "it's complicated" as my relationship status?

   Regreting is only a waste of time. if something happened,accept that it happened and there is nothing that can be done to change it.just be happy that it is not yet the end of the world.

   I wish, with a passion, that I could find the strength to give you one more chance.

   In Light Of BP's Recent Accident They Are Offering Everyone Free Oil. You Just Have To Come Pick It Up At Any Location In The Gulf Coast..

   A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

   likes waking up after a nap and finding out theres a whole night to go with that kinky dream!"

   "Every time I see a mattress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls."

   Can I have your phone number, so I can call you the next time I have a 4 hour erection?

   pretty drowsy......he's pretty sure he has a nap for that....

   "We can still be friends" is like saying "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it"

   Definition of stupid; person who locks their keys in the car...and it takes them an hour to get their family out.

   ...easy there, don't cry, it's OK. Everyone makes mistakes...take your parents for example