Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5878 of 6370
The FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working.
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06-03-2010 13:25 by Joser
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Life would be easier if Kleenex just made shirt sleeves.
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06-03-2010 13:24 by Joser
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If idle hands are the Devil's Playground than Facebook is a full blown amusement park.
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06-03-2010 13:23 by Joser
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Just tending to my rock garden, seeing if I can get a statue to grow.
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06-03-2010 13:23 by Joser
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My super power is finding out about really cool sh*t after it happens.
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06-03-2010 13:18 by Joser
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Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
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06-03-2010 13:18 by Joser
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Maytag just recalled 1.7 million dishwashers. This immigration issue is really getting out of hand.
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06-03-2010 13:17 by Joser
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Even if you preface it with "I think strippers smell nice", saying "You smell like a stripper" has a way of being misconstrued.
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06-03-2010 13:16 by Joser
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You Canadians spell humor as "humour." American humor is better. We can do it without u.
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06-03-2010 13:16 by Joser
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If you kill two birds with one stone, ..you'd better be prepared for those damn PETA people to show up at your door.
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06-03-2010 13:15 by Joser
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. She has 5 fingers and the middle one's for you.
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06-03-2010 12:14
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If a large box of cereal is considered "Family Size", would a large box of condoms be considered "Prevent a Family" size?
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06-03-2010 12:06
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We Need Captain Planet ,Let are Powers Combined
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06-03-2010 11:13 by popboy41
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all for 7 day weekends
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06-03-2010 10:51
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Everybody's gonna hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
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06-03-2010 10:27
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wants everyone to remember that when it seems like God has turned His back on you and He seems so far away....remember this...He's not the One that moved.
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06-03-2010 09:48 by mullerman
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Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. In that case, be me ;)
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06-03-2010 09:37
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theres more characters on facebook than the chinese language.
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06-03-2010 09:13
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Ladies, we need to sitdown and have a talk about these painted on eyebrows yall be wearin..
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06-03-2010 08:54
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They say that licking the back of a frog cures depression. The only problem is that once you stop,the frog gets depressed again.