Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
←Rate | 07-27-2009 14:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
←Rate | 07-27-2009 14:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days have September" because it actually tells you something.
←Rate | 07-27-2009 14:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em.
←Rate | 07-27-2009 14:14 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.
←Rate | 07-27-2009 14:03 by transporter | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks there are 3 types of people in this world, those that can count and those that cant!
←Rate | 07-27-2009 03:42 by Bren | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't drink anymore, doesn't drink any less either
←Rate | 07-26-2009 21:23 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon like superman just without the cape
←Rate | 07-26-2009 20:12 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon hiding porn before his gf comes home
←Rate | 07-26-2009 17:03 by Dimitre | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided that he's not gonna lower his standards to raise yours!!!
←Rate | 07-26-2009 12:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that the song 'Take You Down' by Chris Brown was actually a message to Rihanna.
←Rate | 07-26-2009 12:12 by Lloyd Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves peoples faces when she says stupid one-liners, takes her shades off and runs away like Horatio on CSI:Miami... no wonder he loves to do that, its so much fun!
←Rate | 07-26-2009 09:35 by Susana the great | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just wants your extra time and your...kiss!
←Rate | 07-26-2009 08:58 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Baby, wanna come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo 'til I google all over your Facebook
←Rate | 07-25-2009 13:49 by Ziado | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...
←Rate | 07-25-2009 00:37 by Todd | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
←Rate | 07-24-2009 18:51 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon never a follower......that's what 'Twits' are for.
←Rate | 07-24-2009 18:09 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a Krabby Patty....all the other fish in the sea are eating it.
←Rate | 07-24-2009 18:04 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading Sasquatches, Dinosaurs & UFOs: The Truth Behind 9/11.
←Rate | 07-24-2009 17:19 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reaching for the stars but they just keep moving further away!
←Rate | 07-24-2009 17:16 by illicitdolphin™ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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