Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon 9/11...we'll never know the truth
←Rate | 09-11-2009 12:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon 101,539 deaths vs. 2993 deaths ... I think we won...
←Rate | 09-11-2009 09:57 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon has 2,993 people on her mind today. R.I.P the 9/11 victims x
←Rate | 09-11-2009 02:15 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P. To all who lost their lives on, and as a result of a cowardly attack on our country on 9.11.2001 We will never forget.
←Rate | 09-11-2009 00:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can call me anything. Just don't call me collect from jail!
←Rate | 09-10-2009 22:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get lonely sometimes so I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 22:31 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a ton of things to do today, 12 ounces at a time.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 22:27 by heater | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon inhaled a lot of gas fumes today...butt emitted a bunch more.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 22:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled 'LSD'?" Granny replies, "F*ck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"
←Rate | 09-10-2009 15:10 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 15:07 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon should shout "You Lie!" in church just to see what happens...
←Rate | 09-10-2009 14:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Representative from South Carolina told the President what millions of Americans want to.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 10:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thought that whole "don't put metal in the microwave" thing was a myth... he doesn't anymore
←Rate | 09-10-2009 09:49 by kal-el | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're being attacked by a midget, the last thing you should do is duck.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 01:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon never settle for awesome when you can be super-awesome.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 01:48 by PJ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon changes his status like he changes his underwear... only when people make comments about it.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 00:48 by Nate | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks there's nothing better than a status change-- so tonight I'm going from "in a relationship" to "single"
←Rate | 09-10-2009 00:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to change the color of your mood ring.
←Rate | 09-09-2009 22:26 by nilmer | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "She came to me one night. explored my body.. licked.. sucked.. swallowed. when satisfied she left. I was hurt... Damn mosquito!" you DIRTY MIND! LOL!
←Rate | 09-09-2009 20:13 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just swallowed a rabbit and now wishes he read the instructions for his new 'magic for beginners' set
←Rate | 09-09-2009 19:01 by sean | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  




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