Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5842 of 6370
Dear Celtics and Laker Fans God will be ignoring all your request for a victory tonight so don't waste your prayers....
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06-17-2010 10:26
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wishes the hair on his face would grow in as dark and as thick as the hair on his butt!!
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06-17-2010 10:17 by pizzapal
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the plastic things at the end of the shoelaces are called aglets and their real purpose is sinister
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06-17-2010 09:43
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not illiterate...my parents were married!
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06-17-2010 09:21 by joycey
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Hi! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a spider. And I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could.
pissed! I open my m&m's and every one of them were Ws, I mean seriously?.. I should sue!
don't worry about your boyfriend dumping you, there's plenty of fish in the sea.......whats that?...There's an oil spill?....
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06-16-2010 22:49
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Grammar is important. For instance, commas and Capital letters make a difference. such as in these examples: "Let's eat grandpa." vs "Lets eat, grandpa" or "I helped my Uncle Jack of a horse" vs "I helped my uncle jack of a horse".....
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
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06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
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06-16-2010 22:26 by Danmanz
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Go to Google, type in "world cup 2010", look at the bottom of the page. Gooooooaaaaaaal!
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06-16-2010 22:21 by Jeff
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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06-16-2010 22:02
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Wave your hands in the air! Wave ‘em all around like you're relatively indifferent to the current situation in which you find yourself!
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06-16-2010 21:59 by Joser
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A push up bar and a push up bra are two completely different items that have the same effect when used properly.
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06-16-2010 21:41
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now currently accepting resumes for a Full and/or Part time girlfriend. All applicants may apply within. You will be contacted with a call back if you meet the appropriate requirements. Please send you # at FB mail. Thank you
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06-16-2010 21:07 by BEGO
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will no longer be posing nude for money..
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06-16-2010 20:19
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thinks that the worst part about not being able to log into Facebook is not having a place to complain about not being able to get on Facebook.
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06-16-2010 19:15 by Joser
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A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine...
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06-16-2010 19:12 by Joser
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Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. / I got to say it was a good day.
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06-16-2010 18:57
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