Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5839 of 6370
Researchers at the university of Minnesota have linked tanning beds to brain damage. They were able to do this after watching only one episode of "Jersey Shore".
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06-18-2010 13:42 by Christ
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Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
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06-18-2010 13:15 by H.RAYAT
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This 'itch', That 'itch', Jovanovic! Stojkovic! : This is what you get for the holocaust, b!tch!
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06-18-2010 11:31
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It still haunts me to this day; what I did for that Klondike Bar.........
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06-18-2010 11:21
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A hurricane is the only way to wash away the pain
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06-18-2010 10:19
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decided it was time to leave the restroom when the guy in the stall next to me shouted "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!"
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06-18-2010 10:09
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just heard Miley Cyrus is releasing a new song and dedicating it to Perez Hilton...it's called "Party In The Cell Block A"......
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06-18-2010 08:47 by me
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didn't waste his time with Windows and bought a Mac instead. My name's Randee and common sense was my idea
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06-18-2010 07:58 by Osc
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said to an ugly chick he wanted to give her ONE. ''I wouldnt touch you she said. ''I wouldnt touch you either'' I said, I was rating you out of TEN''
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06-18-2010 04:40
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When meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time it's hard not to think to yourself... "I've licked your daughter's nipples."
thank you for trojan for sending the defective condom in the pack my parents bought, thanks to you, I'M HERE!!! Happy Fathers day DAD!!!!!
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06-18-2010 02:21
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writing his name on a steemed mirror,,,,,,
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06-18-2010 02:19 by H.RAYAT
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Thank you dad for not pulling out!! (to be used on father's day)
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06-18-2010 02:19
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never going to Costco hungry again, I just spent 200 bucks on chips and dip...WTF!!?
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06-18-2010 01:57 by kenken
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wondering why he/she is talking in 3rd person, hmmm he/she is still thinking
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06-18-2010 01:24
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concerned by the NBA champions LA LAKERS with Ron Artest thanking his "hood", Phil telling his guys to grab their loose balls, and Kobe doin work so much to get his man Phil back once again.
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06-18-2010 00:18 by jm554221
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I hate allergies! Does anybody know how to turn Meth back into Sudafed? Just asking!
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06-17-2010 23:22
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Bottle of lotion $ 2.59, Box of Kleenex $3.19 Roll of pictures taken of random girls at the beach $6.50 Having your wife walk in and see it is not pictures of her , PRICELESS
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06-17-2010 22:58
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I Think there is in every girl's life a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.
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06-17-2010 22:47 by BEGO
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Playing hide and go seek in walmart... I take mature and classy to whole new levels
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06-17-2010 22:09
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