Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5837 of 6369
if you belive in yourself, you can do anything... if you belive that.. your oficialy a retard
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06-19-2010 03:08
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it just me or does anyone else translate the sticker "Student Driver" as "Please Screw With Me"...??????
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06-19-2010 01:03 by SJM
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The clean up in the Gulf is going well. My seabass I ordered was a quart low.
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06-19-2010 00:15
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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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06-19-2010 00:13
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was thinking about running around outside naked, but then I drank another bottle except it was Windex, and it stopped me from streaking...
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06-18-2010 23:27
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don't make me mad, I will find your pictures and post them on peopleofwalmart.com and then see who has the last laugh!!!
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06-18-2010 23:14
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It's not my fault when I open my mouth words come out
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06-18-2010 22:53
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If I see that "fuzzoodle" commercial one more time, I'm going to shoot my tv.
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06-18-2010 22:50 by dabomb18
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it just a coincidence that batteries and bras come in the same sizes?
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06-18-2010 22:50
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Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
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06-18-2010 20:40
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Preserve nature....pickle a squirrel.
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06-18-2010 20:37 by mullerman
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Officially out of Liquor Stores within a 25km radius that don't Recognize me as soon as I walk in the door...
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06-18-2010 19:12 by Vitamin N
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I hate when people say "have a nice day." Like I'm gonna be in anguish later then think "Oh yeah, Truck Driver guy told me to have a nice day."
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06-18-2010 18:42 by Joser
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If you think about it, "This was the greatest day of my life" is a very pessimistic statement.
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06-18-2010 18:42 by Joser
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Bumper stickers I'd like to give out: I BRAKE FOR NO REASON / MY OTHER SIGNAL IS OFF / HONK IF YOU HATE WAITING AT GREEN LIGHTS
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06-18-2010 18:41 by Joser
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I have accumulated considerable wealth which, along with my collection of firearms, makes me very attractive to women. (Every rap song)
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06-18-2010 18:41 by Joser
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I really don't think baby steps is an effective way of getting somewhere. For one thing, they fall on their faces half the time.
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06-18-2010 18:39 by Joser
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wondering WHY is everybook about vampires now. Pride and prejudce, alice in wonderland, ...why dont we just turn mickey mouse in to a vampire too? !!!
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06-18-2010 18:28
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Everything taste good and is easy to swallow with a little "hope and change" sprinkled on it.
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06-18-2010 18:03 by Mikey
Comments (1)
The first few people to join Facebook must have felt like pretty big losers.