Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5824 of 6370
going to a BBQ as a vegetarian, which is a bit like the Pope going to a brothel. He knows he's going to have a great time, but he's going to feel really guilty and weird about it
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06-25-2010 16:30 by MetallicA
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often wonders...when someone is dies by lethal injection, do they clean the injection site with alcohol first?
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06-25-2010 15:21 by joyce
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thinks one trip to Wal Mart may cause an intelligent person to start questioning the theory of evolution.
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06-25-2010 15:14
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Dear Alejandro! Please poke Lady Gaga's face with your disco stick so she can finally get what ALL her songs say and she can sing about something else... finally. Thanks :) Grace.
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06-25-2010 15:00
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Michael Jackson was not DANGEROUS, he may have been a little OFF THE WALL at times but not BAD. When it came to songs and performing he was a THRILLER and a DANCING MACHINE. From his one glove to the Moonwalk, MJ will never be forgotten!
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06-25-2010 14:46
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I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them we've have a problem.
I'm only on here for entertainment. Please don't try and make me learn anything.
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt. Undoubtedly, all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.
I hope Gryffindor wins the World Cup.
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06-25-2010 13:23 by l33t
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"What's that!! An earthquake?" "YES!! RUN!!!" "OMG, WAIT" *runs to the computer and writes on Facebook* EARTHQUAAAAAAAKE!!!
I decided I wasn't bad enough soo from here on out I'm gonna bathe naked...Yep thats right Butt Naked...
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06-25-2010 13:09
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If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Give peace a chance. Move to a new town and don't tell your relatives.
I'm just not that into you.....when I'm sober.
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06-25-2010 12:42
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how IRONIC hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words
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06-25-2010 12:11
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What part of Floccinaucinihilipilification dont you understand?
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06-25-2010 11:49 by Luka
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just watched World Cup Highlights of all the goals scored. That's 43 seconds of my life I will never get back!
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06-25-2010 11:33 by Dan H.
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now knows what happened to Michael Jackson. South Africa made thousands of vuvuzela horns out of him.
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06-25-2010 11:25
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I don't run from hurricanes, I drink them.........
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06-25-2010 11:10 by Bill
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...just heard that the Jackson family has asked, In honor of the 1-year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, that all child actors wear their pants at "half-staff" today...