Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5812 of 6370
Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire
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06-30-2010 09:32 by Pineapple
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passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
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06-30-2010 09:00 by markf
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A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key
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06-30-2010 08:52
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wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
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06-30-2010 08:48 by markf
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I do not look back, the past is over, what's done is done, I thank god for what his given me and ask him to guide my ways towards a life of happiness ♥
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06-30-2010 08:44 by SAM RABEE
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children
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06-30-2010 08:43 by SAM RABEE
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Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is the most important.
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06-30-2010 08:31
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We are sinners, but we can strive to be good!!!!
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06-30-2010 08:30 by SAM RABEE
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Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. Thank god I dont have a house!
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06-30-2010 08:28
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It's better to live one day as a lion, than a hundred as a sheep
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06-30-2010 08:18
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An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
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06-30-2010 08:18
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Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money
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06-30-2010 08:00
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The Democrats finally came forward and ruined Chelsey Clinton's life with the news that Janet Reno is actually her father.
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06-30-2010 07:47
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hopefully its called ECLIPSE because they are gonna play a better movie over it
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06-30-2010 07:18 by venom856
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A moment of silence for all our pu$$y whips bro's who are enduring the ECLIPSE premier!
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06-30-2010 04:10
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My car is leaking oil. Can I blame BP?
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06-30-2010 03:40
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Jack & Jill.. went up the hill 2 fetch a pale of water, god knows wht happened.. they came down wid a daughter !!
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06-30-2010 03:21
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale: There once was a man who asked a woman to marry him. She said, "No." and he lived happily ever after.
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06-30-2010 03:08 by RoN
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Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!
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06-30-2010 01:31 by sellers
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Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela
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06-30-2010 01:21 by sellers
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