Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon its national hug a retard day!...now dont freak out like you did last year...im not trying to steal your helmet!!!
←Rate | 09-23-2009 10:48 by TK | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon TIVOing The Weather Channel
←Rate | 09-23-2009 08:52 by phil.p | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teaching his dog how to be a ninja!
←Rate | 09-23-2009 06:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just realized while reading the newspaper, that in cartoons the person on the right is never allowed to speak first...
←Rate | 09-23-2009 02:14 by Hunter | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon repairing a huge hole in my living room wall, Damn You, Kool-Aid man...
←Rate | 09-23-2009 02:08 by Hunter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deleting my browser history almost makes me feel like I never cyberstalked you in the first place
←Rate | 09-23-2009 00:29 by Piney Comments (0)  


   messageicon just not the same since the house fell on my sister
←Rate | 09-22-2009 20:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon dated a retarded girl once... we broke up because we argued about everything... I said "tomato" and she said "BOWLING SHOES!!!"
←Rate | 09-22-2009 19:54 by Patrick | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon To steal ideas from one person would be called plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called "research".
←Rate | 09-22-2009 18:11 by nini | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon more bored than a prostitute in post-guliani New York.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 17:46 by Travis | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
←Rate | 09-22-2009 14:38 by Brades | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Atheism is a non-prophet organization
←Rate | 09-22-2009 14:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon s of to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of prescription medication.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 11:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's 10:30 am and I am sitting here at the bar with my probation officer and my AA sponser and we are on our 5th crown and coke....and I am now starting to think that maybe.....just maybe.....I need to re-analyze my life and the path I am taking..."
←Rate | 09-22-2009 10:34 by Daniel | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon on the road. His cynicism is riding shotgun.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 03:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon when life handsyou lemons,make Grilled King Prawn Salad with Lemon, Chilli and Dill Sauce
←Rate | 09-22-2009 00:25 by RikkiSowtz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives!
←Rate | 09-21-2009 23:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 3-5 years.
←Rate | 09-21-2009 22:07 by Jay | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind my smile is everything u'll never understand...
←Rate | 09-21-2009 20:42 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon life is good when you're good at what's good to be good at in life
←Rate | 09-21-2009 18:51 by that guy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  




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