Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon "A minute can seem such a long time . . . depending on which side of the bathroom door your on :)
←Rate | 11-02-2009 23:35 by Mr Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon *Alarm Clock* (n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 23:34 by Mr Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
←Rate | 11-02-2009 23:23 by Mr Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon We have now reached that time of year when we look at the clock and say, OMG it is only 8 oclock????
←Rate | 11-02-2009 22:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon accidently cut in front of a dwarf today who told me he was NOT happy. I said, "which one are you then?"
←Rate | 11-02-2009 19:33 by troy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any negative people today will be greeted with a high five and a swift ball kick.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 18:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ryan howard is the only other person who struck out more than I did this weekend..
←Rate | 11-02-2009 18:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you know its going to be a bad day when you get out of bad and you miss the floor..
←Rate | 11-02-2009 17:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks the universe is a waste of space..
←Rate | 11-02-2009 17:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Copy this into your status and see what people rate you! 1=Crazy. 2=I'd marry you. 3=Talkative. 4=Sarcastic. 5=Bangable. 6=Clubhead. 7=Moody. 8=Dumb. 9=Spoilt. 10=Mouthy. 11=Random. 12=Hot. 13=Funny. 14=Fit. 15=Amazing. 16= Tough. 17=Cute. 18=GF/BF Type
←Rate | 11-02-2009 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon bought a bee-bee gun and a bird-cage.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 14:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon leaned with it, Rocked with it..Hit the dance floor and went to do da stanky legg but twisted my ankle and ended up in the emergency room.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 14:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon decided to live forever ..................... or die in the attempt.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was so cold this morning she actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets!
←Rate | 11-02-2009 14:04 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..time is precious so be careful who you waste it on.
←Rate | 11-02-2009 12:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon late but I am the latest
←Rate | 11-02-2009 11:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!
←Rate | 11-02-2009 11:49 by K Comments (0)  

   messageicon you don't have to be the most handsome guy neither the richest to pick up girls....just be able to lick your eyebrow
←Rate | 11-02-2009 11:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!
←Rate | 11-02-2009 11:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon has developed his own H1N1 Vaccine consisting of: NyQuil, Tylenol-3, Vodka, Rohypnol, Benadryl, OxyContin, Spiced Rum and a hint of Lemon. ---Directions: Drink One Full Glass every hour to Remove all Care and Worry about the H1N1 virus.....
←Rate | 11-02-2009 11:26 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  

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