Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5792 of 6367
I'm going to be more productive today by making a list of things I don't have to do and accomplish every one of them.
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07-07-2010 10:54 by AT
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she didn't think it was as funny when her plans for a Dutch Oven backfired.
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07-07-2010 09:01 by Jeff W
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I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry."
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07-07-2010 08:58
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annoyed....the FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working!
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07-07-2010 08:29 by mullerman
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Dear Lindsay Lohan,Here is a tip,Better learn to hold your soap tightly.
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07-07-2010 07:21
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Get Your FaceBook Outta MySpace.
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07-07-2010 05:53
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George Bush is the only guy I know who has @#$%ed more than 300 million people at one time.
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07-07-2010 03:48 by BK
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wants an asian monkey just so I can name it "who flung pu"
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07-07-2010 01:37 by Eddy
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"Heat Wave Grips East Coast"; "Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico Continues"; Across the US Mainland, Fracking (drilling for natural gas) Causes Burning Tap Water and Causes Major Health Problems".........hmm, I'll take the "higher cost of living" in HAWAII
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07-07-2010 01:32
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facebook...u can poke another man's woman & he wont get mad about it
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07-07-2010 01:17 by Eddy
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's ideas regarding romance have drastically evolved since kids & marriage. Flowers are lame. A man pushing a vacuum or starting a load of laundry without being asked, however, is the hottest thing since Brooke Shields swam the Blue Lagoon naked!
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07-07-2010 00:51 by Jorja
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Lord Voldemort is pure evil. He turned Cedric Diggory into Edward Cullen!
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07-07-2010 00:43 by Alana
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If George Washington never told a lie, why is his picture on a dollar bill worth 38 cents?
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07-06-2010 23:56
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Being told my breath smells like a sumo's kock with an onion ring around it wasn't funny, mom...
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07-06-2010 23:36
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If you're a man over 65 and like to jog, remember to tuck your nuts in your sock before you leave the house....Old Jogger Rule #34.
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07-06-2010 23:28
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Jake and Vienna acted like they are already married.
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07-06-2010 22:14
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when it seems like god isnt answering ur prayers just remember that the teacher never talks during a test
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07-06-2010 21:24
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God has a plan for every1.. if something is meant 2 be it's meant 2 be. Live ur life for today becuase you never know what tomorrow may bring. Tell the ppl you love that you love them, show the ppl you care bout that you care.. Life is 2 short 2 waste..
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07-06-2010 20:37 by SAM RABEE
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Crappy Ending (n): When a 45-minute massage ends with a police investigation.
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07-06-2010 19:28 by Tracy
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Dear Apple, I have a new product for you. It's called iAmPissed.
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07-06-2010 19:13
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