Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if its at Costco, or if she really had it coming
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:26 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon hated it when old aunts used to come up to her at weddings, poke her in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a picker, a grinner, a lover and a sinner, play'n his music in the sun
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:23 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels ashamed of his smoking but it's better that I smoke and let the dreams of the cigarette makers come true then to be selfish and worry about my lungs
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon bringing sexy back... to the store, for a refund!
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:13 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon take me drunk, I'm home.
←Rate | 07-16-2009 00:02 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon trys to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
←Rate | 07-15-2009 23:27 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon if things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
←Rate | 07-15-2009 23:26 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon had fun before. This isn't it!
←Rate | 07-15-2009 23:25 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is just defying death
←Rate | 07-15-2009 23:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about going back to ninja school and finishing my degree!
←Rate | 07-15-2009 22:44 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon ha ha suckers, gullible IS in the dictionary, I checked....
←Rate | 07-15-2009 21:30 by RikkiSowtz Comments (0)  


   messageicon upset because this Buns Of Steel video isn't what he thought it was gunna be. Stupid misleading covers.
←Rate | 07-15-2009 21:10 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police have found a body in the park. Beer belly, saggy tits, wrinkly arse and no underwear. you seen your mum today?
←Rate | 07-15-2009 20:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Farting.....like a tin of beanz
←Rate | 07-15-2009 16:15 by Geddy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a purple headed woom weasel that wants to pump your beef curtains
←Rate | 07-15-2009 16:10 by Cuunt Chops | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon unless your my thong, don't be up my arse!
←Rate | 07-15-2009 14:16 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon if nothing goes right for you .... Go left!
←Rate | 07-15-2009 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police have found a body in the park. Beer belly, saggy tits, wrinkly arse and no underwear. you seen mum today?
←Rate | 07-15-2009 12:19 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon get over yourself
←Rate | 07-15-2009 12:08 by destinie | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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