Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants to procrastinate... well, not today... perhaps tomorrow!
←Rate | 08-21-2009 16:07 by snoopy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks Women are like scratch-off tickets… There fun to do, ….. Most of the time they turn out to be losers, …. If your lucky you'll get a winner, ……. And in the end you spend more than you get!
←Rate | 08-21-2009 14:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ordering you catalogs...and thinking you may need a bigger mailbox!!!
←Rate | 08-21-2009 10:42 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy! It had been a long first week with Eve
←Rate | 08-21-2009 06:10 by Psym0n Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Lord says he doesn't give you anymore than you can handle... I think he has me confused with somebody else...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:57 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:57 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently you have been misinformed, because the ONLY advantage you have over me is... you can "kiss my ass" and I cant...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If ten percent is good enough for God; it should be good enough forObama...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Parachute for sale. Never opened. Used once. Slight stain...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:54 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.....
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:53 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither theory works.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:52 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that defeat the purpose of a door?
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:52 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.”
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:51 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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