Funny Status Messages

   Acting as if today is Saturday. Going to work unshaved, no shower, in shorts and a T, full cooler of beer as my brief case, and the attitude of "don't bother me, it's Saturday".

   Meanwhile, at the BP command center ... *cricket* *Cricket*

   She said no booty calls. Well this calls for some head!

   as confused as a hungry infant in a topless bar.

   sending more mixed signals than a dyslexic, third-base coach.

   just got barred from Bunnings. This arrogant prick in a red apron in the timber aisle just asked me if I wanted decking. Lucky I got the first punch in!

   loves a man in uniform, unless he's in my rearview mirror.

   If your phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.

   if someone sends me one more Farmville invite, I will banish your animals to a galaxy far, far away and set fire to your crops.

   How come when you open a can of evaporated milk, it's still there?

   contemplating becoming schizophrenic, but is in two minds about it.

   thinks that time flies when you're having a drunken blackout.

   kinda likes ceilings. Maybe I'll become a fan.

   taking a leak of faith..after this 2 and a half hr movie - Inception..

   going to name her next pet Peeve.

   thinks the biggest similarity between a Gynaecologist and a Pizza delivery boy is that they both can smell what's in the box.. however they can't sample it!!

   If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

   Ever see a flower poking up through a crack in the sidewalk? The crack represents the troubles in your life, the flower is the possibilities.

   dancing on a table. IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT, BABY!!!!

   In an effort to boost sales, some stores are doing a "Christmas in July" completes with holiday music, decorations and sales. Nothing will put you in a buying/holiday/festive mood like Santa in a speedo.